PBA 019e
11:23:06 PM Janis: ((Where do I find Bellami)) 11:25:12 PM Kestrel: Down the stairs nearly to the exit-hatch thing, sitting on the ground, crying. 11:25:22 PM Janis: ...Bell? 11:25:46 PM Kestrel: She wipes her eyes hastily, sitting up straight. "Yes?" 11:25:57 PM Janis: I just wanted to make sure you were ok? 11:26:39 PM Kestrel: Bellami: I'm fine. ... it isn't easy to discuss one's humiliation in a roomful of strangers. 11:26:53 PM Janis: Janis walks over and sits by her 11:26:56 PM Janis: Sorry. 11:27:06 PM Janis: If it makes you feel better...this seems to happen a lot. 11:27:31 PM Kestrel: Bellami: Public shaming? We don't have such a custom at home. ... I wish I were still there. 11:28:00 PM Janis: What's it look like? 11:28:52 PM Kestrel: Bellami: The part where I live? It's mostly mountains. I live in a city, mostly made of white stone--it gleams in the daylight. They call it the City of Fountains. 11:29:14 PM Janis: That sounds really pretty. 11:30:15 PM Janis: I'm sorry you got taken away. 11:30:27 PM Janis: Pretty much everyone here wants to get home. 11:31:16 PM Kestrel: Bellami: ... I don't think I can face the others again. Is there somewhere I can just... go to be alone? 11:31:26 PM Janis: ...you wanna see the forest? 11:31:32 PM Janis: Janis smiles at her 11:31:54 PM Kestrel: Bellami: ... a park? Is that the only place? 11:32:04 PM Janis: It's not really a park. 11:32:20 PM Janis: But so long as you're there, Talas can make it so nobody finds you. 11:32:26 PM Janis: Assuming you don't want to be found. 11:33:59 PM Janis: Kes knows how to hide other places, but not me so much. 11:34:45 PM Kestrel: Bellami: I don't want to be found. ... I didn't want anyone to find that out. 11:35:00 PM Kestrel: Bellami: It's humiliating. 11:35:07 PM Janis: .........I can get that. 11:35:21 PM Janis: Everyone here has stuff they don't like the others knowing. 11:35:29 PM Janis: But it all seems to get out eventually. 11:35:42 PM Kestrel: Bellami: ... people don't realize what it's like. 11:37:53 PM Kestrel: Bellami: You hold a child inside for a year, and then it's... painful, when you bring it into the world. And I have done this many times. I hear the cry and I know it's there, but I'm never permitted to hold it. Never permitted to touch or even see. 11:38:39 PM Kestrel: Bellami: ... that's how it should be, of course. None of them are mine, not truly. 11:38:49 PM Janis: ...they're not? 11:39:40 PM Kestrel: Bellami: They're temple children. Conceived at temple, born there. All temple children belong to the goddess; we are only vessels. 11:40:18 PM Kestrel: Bellami: ... but I hear the cries in my dreams. 11:40:36 PM Janis: ................. 11:40:53 PM Kestrel: Bellami: They *feel* like they should be yours. 11:41:06 PM Kestrel: Bellami: ... you're too young for this sort of talk. I'm sorry. 11:41:14 PM Janis: I am not. 11:41:32 PM Kestrel: Bellami: ... oh. Then I'm sorry I believed you were. 11:41:50 PM Janis: ..............Just cause I don't really get it doesn't mean I'm too young. 11:42:38 PM Kestrel: Bellami: ... oh. What don't you understand? 11:42:59 PM Janis: Well, I mean...I don't get why people want to do it. 11:43:11 PM Janis: It just sounds gross, and then you're stuck with this gross thing. 11:44:28 PM Kestrel: Bellami: ... a baby, you mean? Well, from what I've heard, they do come *out* rather disgusting, but they are rather important. If people don't produce children society cannot maintain itself. We are always on the brink of extinction; if it weren't for the temples we would likely have disappeared thousands of years ago. 11:44:55 PM Janis: ....that sucks. 11:45:21 PM Kestrel: Bellami: Everyone wants children. If it weren't for the temples people would kill each other to steal other people's. 11:45:34 PM Janis: ............that sucks more. 11:45:41 PM Janis: ....why do you wanna go back to that? 11:46:24 PM Kestrel: Bellami: ... I had retired from my temple work. But I still had a high position. It is very rare for a priestess to bear more than two or three children in a lifetime. 11:46:50 PM Kestrel: Bellami: ... I was quite important, at home. Before I came here and became no one. 11:47:04 PM Janis: You're not no one. 11:47:09 PM Janis: You're part of the crew. 11:48:10 PM Kestrel: Bellami: I can't face them again. 11:48:32 PM Janis: ..................I'm really not sure I know what to say. 11:49:39 PM Kestrel: Bellami: There's not much *to* say. I should never have retired; clearly she is angry at me. 11:49:48 PM Janis: ....who? 11:50:10 PM Kestrel: Bellami sniffles. "The goddess, Cyrene." 11:50:26 PM Kestrel: Bellami: I'm here, am I not? 11:50:56 PM Janis: ........you think the Gods are mad at us? 11:51:10 PM Kestrel: Bellami: No. My goddess is most certainly angry with me. 11:51:40 PM Janis: But if you're here because of that, that means we all pissed off Gods. 11:51:49 PM Kestrel: Bellami: Fourteen children I gave her, and since I left her service, nothing for me. And now this place, where there is no respect and very little to be had of kindness. 11:52:30 PM Janis: I'm sorry that Allys was a jerk, but we're not all like that. 11:52:41 PM Janis: Larry is one of the most respectful people I know. 11:53:03 PM Janis: And Kes tries to be nice to everyone. 11:53:23 PM Janis: And...and... 11:53:37 PM Janis: Wynn would stand up for anyone here if she had to. 11:53:48 PM Janis: And Lira doesn't always think but she means well. 11:53:55 PM Janis: And you don't know anything about us! 11:54:18 PM Kestrel: Bellami: No. But now you know all the worst things about me. 11:54:31 PM Janis: We know one thing. And not that well. 11:54:40 PM Janis: ...and I still don't really understand it. 11:55:49 PM Janis: But you can't just say that we know you from one thing. 11:55:55 PM Janis: You can't be that simple. 11:56:45 PM Kestrel: Bellami: No. I don't understand why she objected in the first place. 11:57:30 PM Janis: Allys? 11:57:50 PM Kestrel: Bellami: How could it harm her if I were to have a child of my own? 11:58:08 PM Janis: ...I think she just found it gross that you'd do it with her brother. 11:58:33 PM Janis: Also, Allys has a massive stick up her butt. She doesn't like it when anyone does anything. 11:59:32 PM Kestrel: Bellami nods. 12:00:16 AM Janis: Look, just spend some time by yourself, and this will all seem better later. 12:00:19 AM Janis: ...I think. 12:00:55 AM Kestrel: Bellami nods. "Show me where to go. Preferably somewhere with a bath tub. Please tell me there are bathtubs here." 12:01:12 AM Janis: We have showers 12:01:20 AM Janis: ((Do we have bathtubs?)) 12:01:46 AM Nation: ((Yep.)) 12:01:47 AM Kestrel: ((yep.)) 12:01:56 AM Kestrel: Bellami stands up, brushing off her dress. 12:02:07 AM Janis: Janis shows her to the showers 12:02:16 AM Janis: I'll go get some clothes to leave out for you. 12:03:03 AM Kestrel: Bellami nods. 12:03:20 AM Kestrel: ((might wanna tell her about A ROOM too.)) 12:03:39 AM Janis: When you're done, the bedrooms are there 12:03:48 AM Kestrel: Bellami nods. 12:03:53 AM Janis: Janis points to the bedrooms and leads her to one in particular. 12:03:58 AM Janis: You can have this one 12:04:39 AM Janis: Anyway, you go take a bath and I'll get you clothes 12:04:51 AM Kestrel: Bellami nods. 12:05:00 AM Kestrel: ((And you can just assume that's done and she's situated.))